new year's eve

1987 New Year's Eve
picked her up
she wore that little black dress
on that evening we shared our first kiss

for decades on
every New Year's Eve
we shared the same

in our twenty-seventh year
again on that fateful eve
as it would be
i picked her up
in ashes


first glance

lives intertwined
hearts inclined

subtle smile
across the room

all distraction
vanished too

focused emotion
a silent trance

oblivious world
a solitary dance

bid adieu
back to circumstance

in the moment
a chance


do they truly vanish
with time

those strides
one beside the other


in step
and allied

indelible impression in mind
depression in kind

in the sands
of a land
few travel

... fewer avail


dust covered frames
embracing her image

images etched into my mind

and they sit in that silence
staring in silence
at the shell
that life has become

amongst flutes
we did sip from
on a merryfull day
by the sea

and the cloak she once donned
hangs in the darkness
guarded by boxes
brimming with keepsakes
that chronicled our lives

mid sentence
that script ended ...

so there it hangs

but the props still exist
and the script was recorded
though the replay
is only in my mind

the piercing silence
between echoing footsteps
that cross the floors
of an empty house

like a heartbeat
but not mine

chaotic then calm
thunderous then gone


it's all gone

let them be

ocean blue

it was her eyes
something in them
... behind them

someone i needed to know

blue as the seas
deeper than i'd been
over the edge

took a leap
found the treasure
of a lifetime

you and no other

til death do us part
as most stories are told

cant keep this promise
as it would truly impose

on our first inclinations
forever ...
we chose

vous et nul autre


amidst shadows

beyond gloaming go a seeking
something nothing being

endlessly furthering
grasping lure leaning
frivolous demeaning

wishing wanting meaning
so perpetual this seething

hearts together feeling
longing for the ringing
bells that tolled
the singing

lies a satisfying seeming
an endless loop reeling

a rose colored lens

i want to feel what i felt
the first time that i saw her

i want to see what i saw
as we stood together
through each others eyes

the elation i felt
the first time that i kissed her

the pride inside
the day that she married me

the joy it invoked
when we heard his little heartbeat

experience the life
as it was with her

for it isnt the same
not before her
or after

b & w

the world is black and white
not in the way that you might believe

it's that the color has all been washed away

and now i understand
that nothing means nothing

a wish

the look in her eyes
things she wrote
said i captured her heart

said she had lived
and was loved

and that i can attest
as i loved her more than one could
and lost
more than one should

goodbye my love

would say that
ill see you on the other side
but neither of us
really believed that

all i feel
is i miss you

all i have
is memories

all i see
is you in my dreams

all i smell
is scents you wore

all i wish ...

for our son
to find someone
like you have been for me

even where i am now
it was all worth it
wouldn't hesitate
to do it all over

yours forever


it doesn't always bring joy
sometimes it is cold and miserable
there are times when it is pure elation
an escape that feels timeless
much of the draw for me is that it can't be controlled
no two are the same
it's about timing
all the factors coming together
recognizing them
and taking action
if you are late
you get to watch the perfect ride play out before you
and you are just a spectator

into the sea

built castles at
the edge of seas
strolled beyond mere

ventured below
a mirrored plane
to an
otherworldly domain

and frolicked
in the make believe

chasing sunsets

not would pay a fare
to travel anywhere
as my hand is coldly open
footsteps lonely spoken
across the paths
we did embolden
now a ghostly somber stare

we climb into a slumber
in the winter so encumbered
but we smile as though we stumbled
across a treasure of our humble
desire for each other's stare

out upon the ocean
with wonder and devotion
on the pages hath she jotted
the moments that she plotted
to stalk a fleeting
prey of mottled
now hath none doth shone

C's 30th

all the days
since to present
conspired to aid us
as if sent

on a journey
'fore twilight fades

to coax a smile
in any way


twysted roots reach toward the sky
as flocks of songbirds flutter by
drops of sparkle the drizzle catch

yet all this beauty could never fetch
a smile adorned me ever for
alike the first and endless more

along the way became addiction
somewhere emerged a dark affliction

in nights of dreams a song
in days a longing haunt

to spy her shadow cast
now as in the past

a perfect gift

on a mission today
with unlimited funds
for a gift to befit

nowhere could i find
a moment with you

posit this small little token
a watch
hands missing or broken

to implore such a time
no obligations or moments
that require attention

just each other the onus


miss her when awake
dance with her asleep

little things trigger memories
others force tears

whence they come
impossible to dismiss
consume the days ... evenings ... nights

there is no escape
from love
its an addiction

not from above
but from here and now
from an earthly desire

an embrace
a glance
a caress
her voice

dichotomous key

when a half is the whole
and it is extinguished
the remainder becomes indistinguishable

beauty persists

missing shadows
from once she stood
breathtaking so she was

her twysted locks breezy blown
atop a cloud our lives had flown
in darkness dreams my eyes do see
my world as it used to be

hands thine in mine
we walk the path
perfumed petals
thorns of wrath

never lose touch
embers of such

gaze crystal pools
depth unfathomed

sundrenched bronze
ivory pale
gilded locks regaled

goddess of my sea

sine cera

to take the impossible task
create worthy a semblance
why ask

hewed to last
through ages en masse

curls flowing in marble
fixed gaze of azure
lips defy movement
just a word would ensure

without wax


alone in desolation
no picasso fills the air
time requires movement
do i dare

shade thy eyes
to hide
welled tears

feelings invoked
fire stoked
burning out

this to tend



enthralled to have met her
empty without

elated she embraced
an enamored we

exquisite so she was
exemplary so she is

elysian she ...


why do i come here
what do i see
steadfast calm
in a turbulent sea

in solace wane

fleeting sparks
in solace wane

in hearts can rage
in hers so fiercely

a life consumed


what do you cover with that dress
whom do you mimic or impress

just to draw ire mock or jeers
or maybe to unrobe their childish fears

to bring so close that foolish prey
then break their heart to their dismay

for one day we die clad in costume
dear what will they say about us posthume

fairy tale

it's a fairy tale
that i did not understand
until i closed the cover
upon the very last page

some might close it halfway through
others might not get through the first page

as soon as you've lived it
you realize it
until then, you don't

how do you teach someone to find this?
someone born from this
i still do not know

curls in denim

strewn in diamonds
clad in denim
blue eyed
blonde curls adrift

a rhythm for always
or so they said

dont feel anything
for all we've been fed

silence isnt golden
once you've lived those prose
lost and awander
sand in our toes


beneath celestial skies
eternities from tomorrow
the sweeping sentry of time ceased

inamorata embraced
crested waves stood witness
the spark of life kindled

tempest tides of warmth subside
radiant glow revealed


i chose her
and she chose me
for eternity

for a moment
for a time
could be

for two lifetimes
each other
only she & me


a single note
not a rhythm makes
nor the romance

strings of them
tease the dance
the tale a chance

marry me

just might see
you and i
were meant to be

page out of time
song for the ages

neither matters


lying here tonight awake
wondering of the pain ill take
then looking towards the stars and skies
only to see your caring eyes
hold my heart
wipe my tears
console my soul
create one fear
in the morning when i rise
yet to another grave surprise
your absence from my life came true
then thine eyes would not be blue
with a sigh, i wake because
just a dream is all it was


the heart you hear before you
belonged to my late wife
hers by my decree

per her last testament
this she possessed
became mine again

now broken
not of her doing
but tied to her existence

by an emotion
impossible to articulate


Ex Cape

this is it
no turning back
all the goodbyes have been said
the tears shed
now its all up to me

car is packed
warmed up
and although my feet are slow to move
it is time

the streets are still damp
from the late night fog
the sun still buried in the east

a perfect escape
or at least that is what i tell myself
i know the truth too, of course
is no escape
just a different view

well, a different view
is just what i need